(This one goes out to my favorite minion. If you don't hear from me in a week...take my stuff.)
“Look, I KNEW, all right. I fuckin' knew! Lay off!” Two shadows worked in the night, where other shadows eithe ignored them or gave them a wide berth. Shadow time was supposed to be quiet. Then again, these two were not known for their subtlety at the best of times.
“I'm sure you did. You simply didn't offer that answer for a deeper, spiritual reason that I'm certain reveals the depth and glory of your character.” The calmer of the two actually worked the least, idly twirling a knife around two fingers. An occasional slice here and there would part the air, but never with much fanfare, and never without a certain lazy precision.
The other was more brutal. Rather than a blade, she used her bare hands, cracking and tearing open the poor bastard's rib cage with her fingers, before digging about inside the inner workings. “I was going to pick it. Fuck you! Shut up! I was GOING to pick it!”
“I'm agreeing with you, if you hadn't noticed.” The long, thin blade slit through layers of flesh...dermal armor...bone...dust...this one was rotting quickly. The ruin did such havoc on their goal; the reason for that was as mysterious as the self-cleaning aspect of their prey in the first place. The calm one found it perplexing. “Perhaps you were under some duress, or by a sense of fair play, decided to belay your genius?”
“FUCK my genius, I HAD it, okay?! The answer, the points, the whole fuckin' SHEBANG! I just...y'know what, how about you just get the fuckin' heart and let's get the fuck out of here. I wanna get back to the quiz!” Lungs were thrown over her shoulder, squishing into a meaty, stinking sulfur on the hood of some poor bastard's car. She backed away. “You're so damn smart, YOU do the fuckin' retrieval.”
“Your anger is irrational, I would just like to say. I support and stand by you, one hundred per cent.” The way he spoke, you could catch the clip of every syllable on his tongue. He licked his lips, then crouched over the dead...let's call her a woman. The maw of fangs and look of growing distress made the distinction difficult to truly claim. The knife flashed once, twice, thrice, and then in a great moldy cloud, it was done. The calm one held up the heart like a gem, grown over with fungus and wires like a sick joke unto nature. Indeed it was. “With that, we can move on?”
The woman lunged onto him, ignoring the blood and the muck and the grime, and she kissed him with all of the vulgar passion in her tiny, powerful frame. “You know I fuckin' knew the answer, right? I fuckin' knew?” She purred up at him.
“Of course, my dear. How could you not? When a vampire question comes up at the bar quiz, you're fated to win. It's as simple as that.” He kissed her back, but then grimaced as she punched his chest. He felt something crack, but simply smiled – it wasn't the first or the last time, after all.
“I fuckin' KNEW!”
“Of course, of course.”
“...You buyin' the next round of wings?” She smiled.
“The heavens could not stop me.” He smiled as well.
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